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Try your best Wisco accent
I love doing my Milwaukee accent for folks out east. They think it's hilarious. Since moving back, I don't think my normal accent and my Milwaukee accent are that different anymore. Still it's fun to put it on thick.
Say this with a really thick Milwaukee or Wisconsin accent (there's a difference, a-na). If you can't do a WI or MKE accent, just imitate Fargo - which is close enough.
"John ain't here -- he's on vacation. He went by the Dells. No way I'd go to the Dells. Nothing to do there -- Only fish, though. You can't even ATV there even."

